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| Version | User | Scope of changes |
|---|---|---|
| May 9 2008, 9:48 PM EDT (current) | #1hotchfan | 809 words added |
| May 9 2008, 9:47 PM EDT | #1hotchfan |
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Ducky's Song
(by Hoorooblue, adapted from Gilbert & Sullivan)
TO BE SUNG BY DUCKY AT THE NEXT NCIS OFFICE PARTY AFTER HE HAS HAD A FEW TOO MANY DRAMS OF WHISKY.
I am the very model of a medical examiner
I work with Abby Sciuto and I almost am in love with her
She’s really like a granddaughter whose gone a little gothical
But when we talk we really do get very philosophical
My best pal is the agent, Gibbs, who really is quite difficult
But trust his gut! it’s never wrong, (and if it is, it’s not his fault)
He’s had a very hard, sad life, as sniper, husband and my friend
He’s heard my favourite stories ‘til it nearly sends him round the bend
I work with Jimmy Palmer too, who at this game is very new
I’m training him to take my place but fear he may not ever face
His rightful retribution for disturbing my dear dead cli-ents
Whilst rogering the very pretty Lee, his special ag-ee-ent.
The others in our team include the agent Tony Di-Noz-Zo
He seems so silly ‘til you note that everything he seems to know
Is what the mission needs to know if solving crime is our big aim
He’s serious about his work but acts as if it’s one big game
This contrasts very much to Mossad’s officer Zi-va Da-Vid
Whose inner thoughts from all of us, most def-in-ite-ly are well hid
Her killer looks are lit-er-al, her bomb defusing is much used
The only problem is her English id-i-om is much abused
Dear Tim McGee is charming now but Tony’s had his way with him
Producing maddish moments when our Tim has become very grim
He writes appalling books which feature me (so them I have to read)
He types on his computer til his fingers oft begin to bleed
Director Jenny Shepard is some-one I used to know before
She got a bigger name plate nail-ed up on her big office door
She’s gone a little crazy ‘cause she had a little too much Frog
(I tell you that is one story the government won't let you blog)
With Jenny (though she’s rarely seen) is Jen’s dear helper, Cyn-thi-a
The only woman Gibbs can’t charm is Cynthia : he deals with her
By barging through Jen’s door. It makes e-norm-ous fuss and ten-si-on
But happens so damn often that it's too normal to men-ti-on.
We used to have a friend called Kate and I had one called Gerald too
A bloke called Ari did them in, we didn’t know quite what to do
He caused a lot of trouble here, (I really was quite cross!), but then
I knew that Gibbs would solve it all and give us back our peace again.
Sometimes we get a visit from our old friend Agent T Fornell
He huddles in the lift with Gibbs but what they say, they never tell
He married one of Gibbs’ ex-wives: it caused a lot of strife one time
But now they both have learned to live on pennies ‘cause she took their dimes
The latest news is of the girls that Tony and our Gibbs romance
These boys have been so very good at managing to take a stance
That backfir'd very badly when the women said they want to know
The secrets of their inner hearts and whether love they soon would show
Our fam'ly here is quite complete, we’ve handed all the talent out
Around the little group (and so we really think we want for nowt)
And so if you are watching me on telly, then you must infer
I am the very model of a medical examiner!
(And so if we are watching him on tel-ly, then we must infer,
He really is the model of a medical examiner!)
(Based on the song "I am the very model of a modern Major General" from the comic opera, The Pirates of Penzance, by WS Gilbert and Sir Arthur Sullivan, and freely adapted by Hoorooblue. Gilbert and Sullivan wrote their satirical operas in the 1800s)
[Don't know the tune? It is ok as it's a "patter song": just read it aloud but it should be done rhythmically and quite quickly. The rhythm of each line is "&1&2&3&4&5&6&7&8": the bold syllables mark the strong beats. Start slow and speed up verse by verse, for traditional comic effect as per the opera.]
