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| Jun 1 2009, 10:41 AM EDT | omgxitsxemmerz | 24 words added |
| May 31 2009, 7:47 AM EDT | #1hotchfan | 5 words added |
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| Episode 5.01 "Bury Your Dead" | |
| Ducky: He didn't have the plague. HE didn't have the plague! Palmer: He didn't have the plague. Ducky: He didn't have the damn plague! McGee: You read my mind, boss. Tony: It's an easy read. Jeanne: I don't understand what's happening. Tony that was your car. Your car. Your car that just...it could have been you. It should of been you. Tony: Tell me, tell me that you love me. Tell me. Jeanne: I do, it's just everything that's happened. Rene: (In the background on the phone) Ecoutez moi! Jeanne: What happened today, last night, the way you handled things, the gun. The gun, firing it the way you did, and now this? It's like you're someone else Tony. Someone else. Someone I don't know. What is it? You are, aren't you. Aren't you? Someone else. Who? Who are you? Tony: I'm a federal agent. My name isn't Tony DiNardo. It's Anthony DiNozzo, and I work for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. Jeanne: This has all been a lie. A lie. Tony: Jeanne, listen to me. Not all of it. Not everything. Just some things, not the important things. Jeanne: Why? Just tell me why it is you do this. What it is I'm supposed to have done? Tell me. Tell me! Tony: It's not you. Jeanne: What? What? Tony: You should ask him. Tony: What? No balloons? McGee:(answering Ziva's demand that he disclose what he is doing in the office at 7am on Saturday, which McGee doesn't want to answer...): But since my parents raised a gentleman and yours raised a killer, I will tell you that I was defragging my computer all night. McGee: (after learning that Tony's cover was being a professor) No wonder his cover was blown. Whose bright idea was that? Director Shepard: Mine McGee: (to Ziva at the bomb site) Do you believe in miracles? Ziva: Not part of my training. Tony (describing the bombing) Kinda blew away the breakfast plans. Blew away a lot of things. Director: Jeanne. Tony: Wasn't supposed to happen like this. Director: You never really thought it could end any other way, did you? Tony: You mean other than badly? Director: You're not supposed to fall in love with them. Tony: Thank you so much for that Director: I'll keep that in mind for next time. Wait a second! There's not going to be a next time. Director: What did Jeanne say? Tony: Nothing I'm gonna tell you. Director (determined): Agent DiNozzo. Tony (steely): Nothing you need to know Director. (Gibbs almost smiles) Kort: La Grenouille flew to DC this morning, he didn't arrive in his safe house, and his satellite phone has stopped transmitting. Gibbs: Mislaid your arms dealer, that's gotta be embarrassing. Ziva: Does the Director know? Jenny: (walking in) Know what? McGee: That it’s a Saturday and we are all here on our day off... because we... love our jobs! Ziva: Teams do not have secrets Gibbs, and if you do not tell me what you and McGee were doing here all night- (Gibbs just looks at her) McGee knows he will... eventually. (Elevator doors open, showing Tony smiling inside) Tony: (To Kort, laughs) Hey! My car blew up this morning! Did you do that? Abby: Gibbs, I know who blew up Tony's car... well, not Tony's car, but his alias, and not exactly who, but more like how and why. McGee: Do you have a motive? Abby: Me no! But they do. Abby: Everybody else gave you up for dead, even Ziva. Ziva: OK, so I may have acted a little hastily. Tony: That's my letter opener. Ziva: Excellent balance and weight. The edge is a little dull, but I've always admired it. Tony: Where's my American Pie coffee mug? Abby: Palmer. Tony: Mighty Mouse stapler? Abby: Ducky... Hey, Ducky. (Ducky reaches over Tony's cubicle wall) Ducky: My dear fellow, I never believed it for a moment. Welcome home. (Ducky hands Tony the stapler) Gibbs: It's not every day people think you're dead, DiNozzo. | |
| Tony: [holding a letter] You ever lied to someone you love? Ziva: [pauses] yes. Tony: Did they ever forgive you? Ziva: They never found out | |
| (Tony headslaps McGee) McGee: What was that for? Tony: Believeing I was dead. McGee: Hey, I never believed you were dead.Ziva's the one who gave up on you. (Tony looks at her) Ziva: Don't even think abou the headslap! | |
| Episode 5.02 "Family" | |
| Tony (looking at stripper with older women at 1957 class reunion): It's like Cocoon meets Dirty Dancing. I wonder if Ducky has dreams like this. I guess Gibbs isn't too far behind. (no-one responds..Tony freezes) He's standing right behind me, isn't he? Sorry about that Boss. Gibbs (whispering in Tony's ear): Gonna be your dreams, one day, too, DiNozzo. McGee: It's hard to concentrate while Tony is calling Heidi's former victims. He's very sensitive to the word liar these days. McGee: (To Abby who is guzzling Caf-Pow) Thought you quit Abby: McGee, there is a baby missing that might need medical attention. I need to be at the top of my game. McGee: Well you're going to spend most of your game in the bathroom. Abby: I already thought of that. I'm upping my salt intake to increase my body's water retention (Abby munches salted snacks from overlarge bag) McGee: Of course you are... Abby: So what do you have for Gibbs? McGee: Nothing. (sighs) Why is he on his way down here? Gibbs: No. He's here. Abby: And he's talking about himself in the third person. I like it. Gibbs: Ducky says you have something Abby: Dont'cha wanna see what McGee has first? Gibbs: I came to see you Abby: Abby was able to recover amniotic fluid from the dead woman's clothing Gibbs: You got the baby's DNA (they discuss the possible father) Abby: Abby already ruled him out, not the same blood type Gibbs: Good work, Abby! (they both look at McGee, who looks pained) McGee: McGee is going through (describes his work and results) (Gibbs and McGee leave.) Abby: (Abby empties a Caf-pow container, pauses and declares): Abby has to pee. (Tony comes in all wet) Gibbs: Went swimming, DiNozzo? Tony: sprinkler system. Tony (in the background, on phone to a victim of Heidi, the dead woman): ....Come on that's not what I'm saying... McGee to Gibbs (sotto voice): Boss, since we've got a pretty strong lead here, can Tony stop phoning Heidi's other marks looking for suspects? Tony (in background) I'm just really saying that just because she was lying to you, doesn't mean that she didn't really love you. (winces as person slams down phone at other end.) ...hello? (Slams down his phone. Sighs. Starts phoning next one. Looks up to see McGee, Gibbs and Ziva watching him) What?! Gibbs to McGee: Let him call a few more. (Ziva is wondering why the parents would kill to get the baby back, they would have other options.) Gibbs: I'm not a lawyer Ziva: But you were a parent Gibbs: (pauses) You wanna have children, Ziva? Ziva (splutters, guppy-style) Well.. Gibbs: Its a simple question Ziva: I do not have a simple answer Gibbs: Once you have kids, you'll understand. Tony to McGee (who is geek speaking): Pretend you're talking to a person who actually has sex with other humans. McGee: What was it like? Tony: Sex? Losing your virginity? It was good. McGee: Pretending to be someone else? Tony: I wouldn't know, Elf Lord. (McGee speaks more geek speak.) Gibbs (exasperated): I'm beginning to think you can't help yourself, McGee. Ziva follows Tony into the men's loo. Tony to Ziva: If this is a pep talk, I give you a D minus. Tony: These are called feelings, Ziva Ziva: Feelings you need to let go Tony: That easy huh? Ziva: Tony, even if by some miracle Jeanne did forgive you, would you be willing to be Tony DiNardo full-time? To leave your entire life behind for her? You didn't think this through. Tony: Didn't you tell me that the heart wants what it wants? Ziva: No, actually I didn't. Tony: Well it does Ziva: Well it shouldn't. Tony: Really? This coming from the woman who fell in love with the dead man walking? (Ziva gives him the evil eye and yanks up his fly, hard) Ziva: You crossed the line, Tony. (she stalks out of the men's room) Tony: (incredulous) Oh!? I crossed the line? | |
| Tony: Okay, I'm on my way. Gibbs: You got something DiNozzo? Tony: Yeah, dentist appointment. No....ha....this is for real, guys, I....remember I chipped my tooth and I got that, uh...I sent you an email, for a leave request like two days ago about this. You don't check your email. Never mind. (Tony answers his phone) Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, boy who cried wolf and who must now suffer from periodontal disease from it. How may I help you? | |
| Ziva: Gibbs does not accept apologies. But I do. Tony: I'm sorry, Ziva, I know you were trying to help. Ziva: Did I? Tony: Um, I'll get back to you. | |
| Episode 5.03 "Ex. File" | |
| Tony: Uh oh...train wreck. I want to look away but I can't. (McGee, having found the vital evidence in the nick of time, watches Abby punch the honey-tongued villain on the nose.) McGee: Sweet. Tony: (Looking at Stephanie and Mann) Who's cuter? Ex-wife number 3 or future ex-wife number 4? Abby: These things hold over 145GB of music. That's over 45 000 songs, Gibbs. Gibbs: I only listen to 5. Abby: 5000? Gibbs: No five. Abby: Oh Gibbs really need to broaden your horizons. I can download some of my songs like Flesh Eating Foundation, Suicide Commando, and Green Satan. Gibbs (after receiving a phone call): Dead marine Abby: Never heard of it Rinnert: If I weren't so irrationally confident, I'd be afraid of you. Abby: Oh please. Abby: Gibbs, can I hit him? Gibbs: No. Ducky: To whom do I report? Gibbs: Her. Mann: Me. Tony: Better get used to that. (Mann gives him a look.) Spear guns. Very cool. Thunderball. Very James Bond... Boss. Ma'am. Colonel. Mann: We have a little issue. Jenny: We? Mann: You wanna tell her, Agent Gibbs? Gibbs: No, not particularly. Jenny: Is this issue going to involve lawyers? Mann: It already did. It's his ex-wife. She's a material witness. Jenny: And which ex would that be? Gibbs: Stephanie. Jenny: What number is she again? Second? Gibbs: Third. Jenny: Oh, right. You lived in Europe with her for a while. Frankfurt. Gibbs: Moscow. Jenny: Two years? Gibbs: One. Jenny: Well, it's hard to live in Moscow... with anyone. Jenny: Do you think he should divorce himself from this case, Col. Mann? Mann: No, no no... Jenny: Nor do I, I don't see a problem if you conduct the interview. Do you have a problem with Col. Mann interviewing your ex-wife, Agent Gibbs? Gibbs: Do I have a choice? Jenny and Mann (Together): No. Mann: Tony, review the witnesses statements. Tony: Yes, Boss. Ma'am. (salutes) Colonel. Abby: I work like 16 hour days. Rinnert: Wow! That's like... two eight hour days stuck together! Mann: Bring her in for another interview. (Tony and Ziva start to leave) Gibbs: Wait. (they stop) Mann: I said bring her in! Gibbs: And I said wait! Tony: This never turns out well for the kids. | |
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| Episode 5.04 "Identity Crisis" | |
| Abby: Of course, mercury is toxic. So you shouldn't let kids break open thermometers and play with it. Gibbs: Speaking from personal experience, Abs? McGee: Actually explains a lot. Tony: Looks like a nice place doesn't it honey? McGee: (through the ear piece) Sure does sweet cheeks! Krieger: Ziva, can I ask you a question? (Ziva turns) Isn't it hard being the only woman on the team? Ziva: No. (starts to walk away) Krieger: God I wish I had your confidence! Ziva: (turns back) Well, it comes from experience. Krieger: The way I'm going that's something I'll never get. Ziva: Look Courtney, they obviously saw something valuable in you, otherwise you would not have made it this far. Krieger: Thank you Ziva: But, stop trying to be perfect! You will mess up and occasionally you will take a beating. Krieger: Then what? Ziva: You get back on the horse! Abby: This, is why I love you guys. You bring me hair, you bring me blood, you bring me fluids, and you bring me mercury! Predictable, yet constantly surprising! Gibbs: We try. Gibbs: Check out the brunette at the table. Tony: Good find boss! I'll tell you, my radar is totally shot. She's smoking! ..that's not what you meant.. you were suggesting that she seems interested in our investigation. A little too interested and I should question her... not a problem! Ducky: I hope your opinion of me doesn't waver after I've given this fellow a piece of my mind. Gibbs: Never! Ducky: I warn you... this might get ugly! (The team watches the FBI on the screen in MTAC) Tony: An NCIS production. Brought to you by Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Starring as usual the FBI and the elusive Kamal Konkani. McGee: Ziva, no hair pulling. McGee: Tony I think it's time you get back on that horse. Ziva: Are you getting a pony? Tony: It's an adage. Ziva: I'm not familiar with that breed. Tony: (slight pause) Yeah, well they are quite rare, it's sort of a cross between a Pegasus and a unicorn. Tony: Tell me you aren't looking for a man for Ziva. Ziva: Not for me. Tony: Something you want to tell me, McGoo? Fornell:The world's on my shoulders,Gibbs. Gibbs:World made of paper. | |
| Tony: Do people really like boats that much? Gibbs: You work for the Navy, DiNozzo. Tony: Eraser! McGee: What movie is that from? Tony: (gives him a look) I don't know ... Flashdance. | |
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| Episode 5.05 "Leap of Faith" | |
| Tony (after McGee rescues him from falling off a building): I love you, McGee. I promise never to give you a hard time again. McGee: Yeah..right (Abby walks into the deserted squad room with evidence. She sits down at Gibbs desk and puts on his glasses) Abby (pretending to be an angry Gibbs): I heard that DiNozzo, another wise butt comment like that and I'll smack you so hard your grandchildren will feel it. Think it's funny McGee? Wipe that smile off your face. That goes for you too, David. (picks up Gibbs phone) Special Agent Gibbs! (Abby takes off glasses as she realizes Gibbs is behind her) You're standing behind me aren't you? Gibbs: Yep. (Abby puts the phone down) You feeling secure about your job, are you Abs? Abby: Umm, not so much anymore. Interpol officer (about villain) She's a gifted linguist. Educated in England, was secretly trained in weapons, martial arts and covert operations. Tony: Ziva, she's you! Gibbs: He was married to the mole. Tony: Probie! This is not how I want it to end! Abby: I can't believe you would say that to me Gibbs? How could you think that I would be leaving? Because I got a little mad? So what?! We're family, that's allowed. I get three or four job offers every year. I have never considered any of them." Tony: Then why did you have dinner with that headhunter? Abby: Have you ever had the Beluga Caviar at the Ritz Carlton? Nikki: Oh God yeah... Abby: Besides, it was nice to feel wanted. Ducky: I'm fast, but I'm not that fast. Gibbs: (whistles sharply) Break up the dog pile. This is a murder investigation. McGee: Oh that's a long way up. Tony: It's a long way down. (After Abby yells at the team, they are in the elevator, and Abby shouts after them) Abby: DiNozzo get back in here! Tony: Anybody wanna come with me? (McGee pushes him forward) McGee: You've never been to a therapist before? Tony: Me? No. You? McGee: Yeah. Once when I was young. Tony: For your agrophobia? McGee: You're blowing that all outta proportion, Tony. Tony: Well, you showed a pathological fear of heights earlier today. McGee: I was staring down ten stories, being a little disoriented, it's a little understandable. Tony: Disoriented? You had your panties in a twist, tears in your eyes. Oh wait, I couldn't see your eyes, cause they were shut so tight. You were hysterical like a little girl. McGee: I was not. Tony: You were hugging the ladder. Ladder hugger. And I've got the photographic evidence. (Tony pulls out his phone, on which he had recorded McGee from earlier) Tony: Let technology show you the truth. McGee: My eyes are not closed. I was blinking. Tony: Oh. Oh is that what you're doing? Let's let the people decide. McGee: You're not gonna post that on YouTube. Tony: Might. McGee: You give me that thing or I'm gonna... (The two of them scuffle, as McGee tries to get the phone from Tony) Therapist: Hey, hey, hey.You two have deeer issues then we discussed on the phone. Tony: On the phone? Therapist: Aren't you the couple who called about marrige counseling? McGee: Couple? Us? No, no, we..... Tony: It's all right.Timmy, Timmy ---- we're in a safe place.We can be ourselves here. (McGee pushes himself away form Tony) Tony: We just got back from Vermont.It's pretty this time of year. McGee: (pulls out badge) NCIS.Special Agents McGee and DiNozzo. Tony: Very special agents. Tony: Color back, now that you're on terra firma there, Probalicious? McGee: I would'a done it! Tony: Only, ah, you didn't. Ziva (talking about Tony): I think he's more afraid of heights then you are. Tony: Please, I rock climbed! Ziva (Laughing): Yeah, twenty feet, with a harness, to impress a girl. Tony: Well, it worked. | |
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| Episode 5.06 "Chimera" | |
| Jenny: Great. Show it to me. Commander: How exactly do you propose I do that? Jenny: There must be a plane or two you could scramble over head. Commander: I think you’re going to have to trust me, Director. Jenny: I don’t know you well enough, commander. Commander: We can fix that. Jenny: You can cut the charm. (sits up in chair) Higher ranking, richer, and definitely better-looking men have tried that on me and didn’t get very far. Now I can't speak for you, Commander, but I didn’t get where I am because of my looks. So get your eyes off me and put some on that ship! Tony: Definitely didn't picture my demise like this! I always figured I'd go out like in white heat. Fiery explosion. Or Redford and in Butch Cassidy- hail of bullets! Gibbs: Or Charlie Chaplin in the Gold Rush. Tony: How did he die? Gibbs: Silently McGee: I'm dealing with my boat-phobia, Tony's dealing with his rat-phobia, and Ziva's dealing with her ghost-phobia. Abby: So, what's Gibbs dealing with? Gibbs: Them. McGee: (to Abby) Can I take a braincheck? Tony: I'm gonna die Commander: Satisfied, Director? Jenny: I’m not that easy, Commander Commander: I’m not surprised. (They are watching ship approach the Chimera in MTAC) Jenny: Can we get any closer? Commander: I am sure we can. (Walks towards Jenny and she rolls her eyes in disgust) Tony: (about dead rat) Stinky Stinky. Yes, Alex, Horror Films that take place on ships for 200. (lights go out) Oh goodie. Double Jeopardy. Tony: Oh goody, double jeopardy. McGee: Oh jeez. Ducky: Oh dear. Jenny: Oh crap. McGee: Abby. Abby. Abby! Abby: McGee, you shouldn’t sneak up on people like that. McGee: What the hell is that noise? Abby: Brain Matter. McGee: I love them. Tony: (singing) Baa Baa black ship have you any wool? Yes sir. Yes sir, but in order to see it you're going to need top secret government clearance. McGee: Every room is empty. Ziva: It's like the entire crew disappeared. Tony: Welcome aboard the U.S. N.S. Houdini. (team hears a noise above them.) McGee: Could be a rat. Ziva: Would have to be an awfully big one. Tony: Or a ghost. Gibbs: Are you done? Tony: Done... searching the ship? We could always search it again. Abby: Of course, blood that's passed through so much GI tract has very a particular smell. (Tony takes a big whiff) But since this guy may have died from a highly contagious virus, whatever you do, don't inhale it. Tony: We're not good. Gibbs: Hey, you okay, DiNozzo? Tony: Not for long. Tony: Abby, where's the gas chromata-thinga? Abby: It's the box looking thing, with the circular door-like thing on the front. Ducky: You were right, Ziva. There is someone on board. Ziva: Not him. There's someone alive. I can feel it. Tony: A lion-headed dragon goat? Ziva: Maybe. Ziva: How did they know that we were off the ship? Gibbs: I don't think they did. Tony: Steady probie. McGee: Tell that to my stomach. (Tony bends down to height of McGee's stomach) Tony: Steady probie's stomach. | |
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| Episode 5.07 "Requiem" | |
| Tony: (looking at Gibbs' unconscious form) Oh God, don't make me kiss you boss! Tony: Calling Gibbs? Ziva: He did not pick up. Tony: Worried about him? Ziva: Are you? Tony: You be worried about him. I'll be tentatively troubled, privately perturbed, fleetingly flustered. Ziva: Have you called him? Tony: I would have to be deeply discombobulated to even think of calling him. Tony: This is ground control to Major McThom. This is ground control to Major Thom. Is anybody out there? McGee: What? Tony: Oh. I was just checking. You've been staring into space for the last hour. Even on the McGeekle scale that is cause for concern. Tony: Okay. McTim you win. What are we looking at? McGee: What do you see? Tony: It's an iceberg and we're headed right for it! McGee: More like the 4 million dollar tip of an 8 billion dollar iceberg. Tony: Soldier of fortune is about to become a soldier of misfortune. Ziva: The dogs of war are about to taste the hair of the dogs. Abby: Okay. I need all of you to get out of my lab. Let me do my thing. I have all of these samples to test, and Major mass spec is going to blow up in protest if I don't blow up first. (Silence and then Abby looks around autopsy) Sorry. This isn't my lab. I'm going to go. McGee (to Gibbs): Boss, there's a young lady here to see you. I sent her to the lounge. Gibbs: About? McGee: 22...23 (Gibbs gives McGee a questioning look) I mean it's personal, she wouldn't say. McGee: Reads Gibbs like a book. Tony: Short read, not a lot of dialogue. Ziva: Your kind of book. Tony: Are you suggesting I don't read? McGee: Think she's suggesting that you only look at the pictures Tony. Tony: Well, a picture paints a thousand words McGee. Ziva: And in your case most are the names of female body parts. Tony: I'll have you know that since 1981 I have been a loyal subscriber to National Geographic Magazine. Some serious picture-gazing right there. McGee: So how'd she know? Ziva: Women's intuition. Tony: Do you have that? (Death glare from Ziva) Forget I asked that question. Ziva: The director could see that Gibbs was pre-occupied with something, and she saw him with the girl. McGee: Sounds more like male logic than women's intuition. Tony: Either way I think she's worried about him. McGee: Question is should we be? | |
| Jenny: You're right. He's holding something back. Then again, he's not the only one is he. You said you knew her. Gibbs: Family friend. Jenny: When? Gibbs: Long time ago. Jenny: How long? Five years? Ten years? Gibbs: 15. Are we done here? | |
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| Episode 5.08 "Designated Target" | |
| Ziva: Do you see what I see? Tony: A crazy Israeli chick with impulse issues? Ziva: No. Ziva: You are xenophobic Tony: I am not Xena-phobic -- it's one of my favorite shows. Leather skirts, lesbian sword fighting, female empowerment. Maybe I'm a little Ziva-phobic. Gibbs: Does anyone have any answers? Tony: Ziva? Ziva: No! Tony: Ziva doesn't have any answers, boss! McGee: I'll see you later, Bumby Tony: Bumby?! McGee: Well, we can't all be called "probie," can we? Tony: McGee! I hit the space bar. McGee: Just push the buttons I tell you to push, monkey Tony: Love is not treating you well, my friend Abby: Abbycadabra. Abby: (To McGee regarding his new crazy girlfriend) "Love is never having to read her her Miranda rights." Tony: "I recognize that look. You've had sex and I'm guessing it was with a girl." Gibbs: Duck? Ducky: Well, this was no traffic accident. Gibbs: No kidding. Abby: Would I have you down here to watch me fail? Tony: If the Probie was probing last night, I demand details. Tony: I recognize that look. You've had sex and I'm guessing it was with a girl. McGee: No Tony: It wasn't with a girl? Abby: Love is never having to read her her Miranda rights, but she's going to do this to someone else. Throw her psycho ass in the brig. I love you McGee, that should be enough. Tony: (after being headslapped by Gibbs) You know, repeated head trauma can cause brain damage. McGee: That explains a lot! Gibbs: (examining McGee's collar) Lipstick on your collar, McGee? McGee: Ummm.... I.... ummmm... Gibbs: Good for you. (pause) Good for you..... Tim. Just don't get married. Tony: Oh look at him. Probie's all grown up having his first fight. Abby: McGee... McGee: Yeah? Abby: Do you know it's 365 steps from my lab to your desk? (she sighs) I'm trying to get my blood pumping... what's wrong with you? Tony: (pointing to his head) Is this side of my head bigger? Ziva: Yes, but so is the other side. McGee: Abby, what do I do? It's like I'm nuts for this girl you know, and she's just... nuts. Abby: She stole your heart, but she stole your money. Arrest her. Tony: Why didn't you stop me? Ziva: Too stunned. Tony: Where do I send flowers? Ziva: If you communicate with her again I will kill you. Tony: This guy is a regular cab coyote. Ziva: Is that like a wolf in sheep's clothing? McGee: A coyote is a person that exploits people who come to this country illegally. Tony (to Ziva): As opposed to outsourcing, which you are. Gibbs: Something wrong McGee? McGee: Computer glitch. Gibbs (Hits McGee's monitor): Better? McGee: Much. | |
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| Episode 5.09 "Lost & Found" | |
| Gibbs: You sound tired, DiNozzo. Tony: We're following Ziva, even the dogs are tired. (playing Pictionary on a whiteboard) Carson: A mansion. Palmer: (nods and draws a girl) Carson: OK... I got it... I got it... The Playboy Mansion! Palmer: A... A... Playboy...it's a school, Carson...are you sure you don't know Tony DiNozzo? Jenny: Once upon a time I would have asked you to stay and I wouldn't have taken no for an answer. Gibbs: No. Jenny: What happened, Jethro? Gibbs: You made a choice. Jenny: I had to do what was right for me. Still do. (Gibbs opens the door and walks out into the night.) Tony: This is going to suck. Ziva: Stop complaining. Tony: Sorry. No sleep tends to do that to me. Ziva: I drove Tony. You could have slept all night if you wanted. Tony: I tried but the orchestra of blaring car horns kept me awake. Ziva: We made good time. Tony: Going ninety-five miles an hour on a dirt road; I couldn't even see. Ziva: Then it's a good thing I was driving. (Both make a grab for a map) Ziva: I'm a trianed navigator, Tony. Tony: Yeah well, I got an 'A' in geography.Plus I'm senior field agent, I'm pulling rank. Ziva: I'm also a trianed assaian. Tony: We'll shoot for it. Ziva: Best two out of three. (proceed to play rock, paper, scissors.Tony wins) Tony: I'll take that! Alight, topographic, speaks my laungage.Follow me, I got it. (starts walking away) Ziva: Tony! Tony: What?! Ziva: The trail is this way. ( points to a sign that reads 'trail) Tony: (Sees McGee in his Youth Ranger uniform) Seriously Probie, I don't make enough fun of you? Ziva: I'm driving. Tony: I'm dead. Gibbs: Jazz? Jenny: His favourite. Gibbs: Ziva was right. DiNozzo. Ziva: Tony! This is no time for sight seeing. Tony: The only sight I'm seeing is your big... (Ziva glares at him) bag. Abby: Do you know what my biggest pet peeve is McGee? McGee: People who say they're vegetarians but eat chicken? Jenny: Jethro this is a case report, not a custody transfer. Gibbs: Must have grabbed the wrong folder. Jenny: Go figure. McGee: In the last 4 years we’ve made over 200 arrests thanks to AFIS finger print matches.. Abby: We? Ha. McGee: It’s a team effort. Tony: Where is the kid? McGee: Abby’s got him. Ziva: Our Abby? Tony: Alone with a minor? Abby: In the land of forensic science technology the mass spectrometer is king. McGee: Did you ever share your personal computer with someone? Abby: No McGee, that's worse than sharing your toothbrush. McGee: Because we have, just about every time you get assigned a cold case. Abby: I am not the only one that complains around here McGee. You should see yourself when your filtering through a perp's computer. Abby: You've seen everything. Carson: Not everything. Abby: Forget about the tattoos. Okay? It is not happening. Carson: Come on, not even a little peek? McGee: Oh, 1500 points. Abby: New high score. DiNozzo's reign is over. Ziva: The dead wife's mother sued him for full custody of Carson, and won. McGee: Explains why he took Carson and ran. Tony: Someone just earned their detective badge. Ziva: DC Metro's cold case files, are already en route Tony: En route? Ziva: Offered to hand deliver Tony: And you agreed?! That's one of the oldest tricks in the book, the hand delivery, Ziva. It's Metro's way of making sure they stay involved in the case Ziva: You think? Tony: Why else would they personally deliver the files? Collins: To see your pretty face, DiNozzo! Abby:(while sirens are blaring) You can turn off the siren now! Carson: What? Abby: You can turn off the siren now! Carson: What did you say? Abby: You can turn off the (sirens turn off) damn siren!!! (Silence as Ziva and Tony look at her and Carson laughs quietly) Abby: You think that's funny? Carson: Yeah. | |
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| Episode 5.10 "Corporal Punishment" | |
| Tony (in Tommy Lee Jones voice and posture): All right, listen up people. Our fugitive has been on the run for 90 minutes. Ziva: It has been 3 hours, Tony. Tony: Average foot speed over uneven ground, barring injuries, is 4 mph. Ziva: He's not on foot, he's in a car! Tony: What I need from each and every one of you is a hard target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, hen house, outhouse and doghouse in the area. Our fugitive has a name and it is... Gibbs: Corporal Damon Werth. McGee (to Tony): The Tommy Lee Jones speech? Every time we have a fugitive? Tony squirms but looks unrepentant. PR Man: This could be a PR disaster. Gibbs: It's always my primary concern. Ziva (to Tony): Do any of your ideas come from reality? Tony: Sure. It's just not your reality. McGee: Maybe he was accused of a crime he didn't commit and is trying to promptly escape to the Los Angeles underground. Tony: He is not the A-team, McGee. Gibbs exits conference room to find Tony waiting to tell him info. Tony: Oh, hey boss. McGee managed to ...blah, blah, blah computer geek stuff.. and he figured out that the video feed was being accessed from a public site a few blocks from the garage... Gibbs: Where he watched us. Tony: Yeah, that is exactly true. Last files accessed on de la Casa's laptop were... Gibbs: Patient logs. Tony: (looks up, astonished.) Yeah, three names in particular. Gibbs: Whitney, Stone and Heatherton Tony: puffs out breath.."Whoaaa..that's kinda creepy. Wait, howdya...? (looks at the back of the folder) Ducky (following around as Gibbs marches through the HQ. Ducky briefing Gibbs on the history of the first recognition of post traumatic stress disorder): A dam gave way during a heavy rainstorm. Psychologists descended upon the ruined valley to identify the common malady that afflicted the survivors. Gibbs: Nightmares, insomnia, paranoia, depression, memory loss. Ducky: You know the symptoms well. Gibbs: WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM, MARINE!!! Werth: I want to kill someone sir!! Gibbs: Make sure he's presentable for your photo opt? HR Aide: The man is entitled to his medal. Gibbs: All you care about is selling the war. HR Aide: You don't support the war? Gibbs: I support the men fighting it. Tony: What were you having feelings about? You just said you were having feelings. Ziva: I said I have feelings, not that I am having feelings. McGee: That is a pretty sophisticated grammatical differentiation. Tony: Don't change the subject with your big words McNerd. Abby: Oh Tony, I'm so glad you... (Abby steps away from Tony, wincing at the smell) smell like garbage. Tony: Yeah. I know. I was going through Karen Sutherland's trash. Ziva: Find anything? Tony: She recycles, and composts... Who composts! Tony: You know what happened to the kitty cat who got to curious? Don't make me break out my Jack cause I will. Ziva: (after opening McGee's drink for him) Straw? McGee: No I'm good. I got the one arm. Tony: Maybe it was you McGee. The one-armed man. Thought it was one of those vets we met at the Walter Reed Hospital. McGee: Wrong case Tony. Tony: We even have a case? We already got the guy. What are we doing? What did we miss? What's happening? McGee: (to Ziva) They gave him painkillers. Ziva: Oh. Tony: My fingers are tingling. Hmm. (Elevator door dings) Ooo. You hear that? McGee: You know that's how Houdini died. Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini? Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names. Sutherland: You could have just asked nicely. Gibbs: This is nicely! McGee: No one expresses themself the way Abby does...Themself? Themselves? Themself? Tony: He's pulling a pulp fiction McGee: On the Hulk McGee (to Abby): Some of these experiments are more “fi” than “sci.” | |
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| Episode 5.11 "Tribes" | |
| Langer (to Gibbs): Sorry about our inconvenient convergence here. Gibbs: Our what? Langer hands over money to him, ruefully. Tells Jenny that Gibbs used to fine him for every three dollar word he used. Jenny: How much? Langer: (looking incredulous) Er, three dollars. Gibbs: You owe me six. Tony: Hell, the fall will probably kill ya. Ziva: Butch Cassidy and the Sunrise Kid. Gibbs: (not seeing Abby as he walks into the lab) Abby? Abby: (kneeling on floor, is startled, lifts her head and hits it on the open door of the mass spectrometer) Ow! you scared the hell out of me! (pause) Sir" (She stands, lifting her microscope glasses) Gibbs: You lose something? Abby: Nay! Does a baby change its own diapers? Does it burp and feed itself? It takes a lot of TLC to keep my children (the equipment) happy and fully functioning in the lab of Abby or 'Labby' as I like to call it. (Whispers to the mass spectrometer) You're my favorite. Gibbs: Labby? Tony: Am I the only normal one here? Gibbs: No! Tony: "Morning Boss! (On the phone with McGee) Tony: Go MaGoo! Tony: (pointing at McGee's enormous coffee mug) Good morning, Probie Pan. Where did you pick that up? Neverland? Tony: Nobody likes a know-it-all. McGee: Gibbs does. McGee: I'll flip you for it. Ziva: If I flip you, you'll get hurt. Tony: (about Agent Langer as he walks away) What an ass! Ziva: (admiringly) Yes, indeed! Tony: You're Langer leering. You're leering a Langer. Ziva: Very good, Tony, you'd get a B in my class. Tony: I could teach your class. Ziva: Yeah right. Gibbs: You are still a pain in the ass. Langer: You know I learned from the best! McGee: Baghdad is safer than this neighborhood. | |
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| Episode 5.12 "Stakeout" | |
| Ziva: Do you think prostitutes get bored... I mean, the same work day in, day out, day in, day out? Tony: What did I miss? Ziva: Goldilocks hooked up with Papa Bear, and they found a bed that is just right. Personally, I think she could do better. The Jack she's with is just gross. Tony: You mean John. Ziva: You know him? Tony: Oh my God... Ziva: Your goose is fried. Tony: (to Sparr) Special Agent DiNozzo. Anthony. Tony. (Sparr ignores his offer to shake hands.) Tony: Anything good tips on the case? Sparr: You're here because I didn't return your call. Tony: Oh that would've been nice, yeah. Sparr: Well when I'm in the middle of an investigation I don't return social calls. Tony: What makes you think it was social? Sparr: The way you stared at my butt the other day? Tony: Now how do you know my interest in your butt wasn't purely professional. Sparr: I've dealt with your type all my life. Tony: Really? What is my type? Sparr: Not my type. Rules don't apply to you. Can't imagine a woman wouldn't hang on your every word. Tony: Have you always lacked self-esteem? Sparr: I got a murder to solve. Haven't you got a drunken sailor to find? (Gibbs is interrogating a stoned Dennis) Sparr: Gibbs always throw softballs? Tony: I've seen him make a 300 lb. drill instructor cry. Sparr: (to Tony about Dennis) This man couldn't pick his own mother out of a line-up. Tony: (to Gibbs) Morning, Boss. (to Tim) Morning, McProbius. Gibbs: Where is DiNozzo? Ziva: He is... um... He is... He is running an errand. Jardine (To Ziva): Would Tony really do something to your food? Gibbs: Oh yes. Jardine: Ziva. Ziva: Yeah. Jardine: I don't know if I should say anything or not but I saw Tony putting something under your car. Ziva: What? When? Jardine: What, I don't know. When, this morning. Ziva: Hah, I told you... I told you he could not be trusted! (Ziva runs to her car) McGee: Was Tony really messing with her car? Jardine: No. Tony just told me to tell Ziva that when I saw her. Ziva: Do you trust DiNozzo? McGee: Point well taken. Tony: This is crazy. I'm taking photos of an empty room. Ziva: (Looking at Gibbs) I wouldn't want to be Gibbs right now. Tony: (Starring at McGee) I wouldn't want to be McGee any day. Ducky: Is the Stakeout over? Tony: I wish! It's worse than watching a five day cricket match! Ducky: Careful, young man. | |
| (McGee walks in, carrying a bag with their brekfast) Tony: Hey, moniter number two was flickering there: Fixed it. McGee: (drops the bag and walks to the window) I've seen that Beamer before. Tony: Yeah, we've seen it all before.Feels like we've been here for months doing nothing.(Opens bag and pulls container of eggs out) Com'on! I said scrambled! You haven't gotten a single order right in four days. McGee: They're eggs, eat 'em. Tony: I don't like sunny-side up.Sunny side up oozes.They're like eyes, they're looking at ya'! I bet your burritos just the way you like it. McGee: You want your eggs scrambled? (Takes the container and shakes it) They're scambled! (He walks back to the window and Tony throws the burrito at his head) | |
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| Episode 5.13 "Dog Tags" | |
| Jenny: Sometimes things aren't so simple Abby, sometimes you can't control the outcome. Sometimes you have to look at the reality and accept it. Abby: I can't.... I won't! | |
| Jenny: He doesn't look very good does he? (Indicating the dog Jethro) Abby: I think it's because he knows he's on death row. That would put a damper on anyone's spirit. | |
| Abby: So what? So what if I am?! You have to stand up for what you believe in. You have to stick to your guns until you make a wrong right. | |
| Abby: Jethro is fine. I'm taking up a collection for flowers. McGee: Why would I give flowers to a dog that attacked me? Abby: Maybe because dog is man's best friend or maybe because I am a forensic scientist, and I could boil you from the inside out and never leave a trace. (McGee quickly puts money in the container) | |
| (After Tony scares McGee with a dog attack video) Ziva: Finding inspiration? Tony: Whenever I can. It's my personal McMuse. McGee: When dogs attack...Very funny. Gibbs: All bark, no bite, like the rest of my team. | |
| Ducky: When was the last time you had a tetanus shot? McGee: Probably after that time Dicky Newsome and I were fighting over the galactic wand of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Tony: So...last year sometime? | |
| Tony: We gotta stop serving warrants after lunch. Ten bucks says McGee spills it on this one. | |
| McGee: That dog should have a muzzle on it Abby. Abby: Put a muzzle on yourself McGee. It's not like he shot you. | |
| Tony: If by "bullcrap" you mean your worst freakin' nightmare, then yeah, this is bullcrap! | |
| McGee: I've been bitten harder...by dogs....I love dogs. I'm a dog person, really. Erica: What kind of dog do you have? McGee: Uh....I don't, yet, but I might....will....soon...very soon. I just need to find the right girl....dog...girl dog. I want a girl dog. I do like boys, though. Gibbs: Don't ask, don't tell McGee. | |
| Gibbs: What do we got? Tony: (Watching a tape of a man eating junk food Funjuns) A sudden urge to hit the vending machines. | |
| Gibbs: Go back to Pax River and talk to the other handlers. Tony: And see if one of them barks....I know. | |
| Ziva: You do not have rabies! You're getting him worried for no good reason. Tony: She's right, McGruff. | |
| Jenny: I can sympathize with the Commander's impatience. Gibbs: Well you sympathize, I'll keep investigating. | |
| Abby: If you think I can't distinguish the fibres on your stupid jacket from the evidence on the dog, you don't know me McGee. And right now I don't want to know you! | |
| Abby: Good dog. Bad McGee! | |
| Abby: Dogs don't kill people. People kill people. McGee: People with dogs that kill people, kill people. | |
| Abby: Who would shoot this cute little dog? (Realizes it was McGee and turns to confront him) McGee: It was self defense. It was self defense! Abby: You shot that cute little dog? McGee: He's not cute and little! He's vicious and large! | |
| Tony: Unfortunately thanks to Semper Fido he's never gonna roll over. (Gibbs looks sideways at Tony). Sorry boss. Gibbs: Play dead! | |
| Ducky: Given the prevalence of bite marks, torn flesh, puncture wounds, I'd postulate that Petty Officer Hanson was the victim of a dog attack. Gibbs: Really going out on a limb there, Duck. Ducky: That assumption is further substantiated by the presence of a dog at the scene of the crime. Tony: By crikey, Dr. Mallard, I believe you've solved the case! (The team look at Tony ) Ziva: Did you wake up in the wrong bed this morning? Tony: If your question is did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, the answer is no, but my mood did sour somewhat when I walked in and found that our chief suspect is dead! | |
| Ziva: (Referring to Erica) I guess she prefers McGee's scent. Tony: Ha! She'll eat him alive! | |
| Abby: Who's a good Jethro? Gibbs: I'm a good Jethro | |
| Tony: (referring to Ziva on the floor with her butt sticking up) Believe me, not from this angle. | |
| Episode 5.14 "Internal Affairs" | |
| Abby: (pointing an accusing finger at the silent FBI man) You are very guarded about whether or not we are being guarded. | |
| Ziva: (being interrogated) I would hate to be misunderstood. Fornell: Does that happen often? Ziva: Once in a blue lagoon. | |
| Tony: I'm with you. Call the spirits: tell 'em to bring pizza. | |
| Fornell: You killed La Grenouille! Tony: I did what? | |
| Gibbs: (Handing Ziva a knife and instructing her to "take care" of some FBI agents in a car. Her face lights with glee. Gibbs frowns) Their tires, not their throats. | |
| McGee: Backing up three years of files: the bulk of our lives are in these cables right now flying back and forth in zeros and ones. Tony: You do understand that I'm the ones and you're the zeros? | |
| Gibbs: Questions? McGee: Yeah, how do you get the boat out? Gibbs: Just break the bottle. | |
| Abby: This is ridiculous! We're prisoners in our own evidence lock up! Ziva: We're not prisoners. Tony: We're evidence so we're locked up. | |
| Tony: Gibbs gave you a mission. Everyone's counting on you. Just do what you do best. Abby: Dance?! Tony: Talk. | |
| Ducky: Reminds me of a time....(Gibbs stares at him)....a part of my life I will share with you later. | |
| Abby: Oh! Tarot cards! Wanna see what happens next? Tony: I am dying with anticipation. | |
| Fornell: Come on Tony, you're a better liar than that! | |
| Gibbs: Fairytale ending. Jenny: The frog is dead and the Jesters have been kicked out of the kingdom. Gibbs: The Queen is back on her throne. Jenny: You're expecting some sort of knighthood, I'm sorry to say I've misplaced my sword. Gibbs: "Long live the Queen." | |
| Abby: (Referring to Gibbs) The man is magic like dark magic. He has eyes and ears everywhere. He appears like a....(Whispers)....mist. Whenever I get a clue he just materializes. Fornell: Maybe he bugged your lab. Abby: No...(With a naughty grin)....I checked. | |
| Ziva: Be a man Tony. Tony: She accused me of murder! Ziva: Who is the bad guy? Be a man! | |
| (Ducky, Ziva and McGee are "re-enacting" La Grenouille's murder; McGee is La Grenouille.) McGee: Why do I let you shoot me in the head? | |
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| Episode 5.15 "In The Zone" | |
| Tony: Jealous? What you're doing could be illegal in some states. Nikki: It should be. I think I need to wash. | |
| Tony (to Nikki): For someone who hates germs so much, you're a slob. | |
| Tony: Aw..Yeah...It's like home...if you live in an airport. | |
| Stenner: Can I just please, go to the bathroom? Gibbs: No. Stenner: Okay. Gibbs: I'm kidding, you can go. | |
| Tony: Wow. I never thought it would be possible to hurt yourself with a wet wipe. | |
| Tony: I'm guessing he's not complimenting my vest. Nikki: He seems to know your mother .....intimately. | |
| (McGee assigns barking dog sounds to Tony's keyboard) Tony: (Pressing several keys) That's very funny. Fix it! McGee: Um, you're barking up the wrong tree. | |
| Ziva: If anyone is going to go to Iraq it should be me. Nikki: It is my area of expertise, I have a lot of contacts there. Ziva: As do I. Nikki: Mine are still breathing. Ziva: As are....most of mine. | |
| Ziva: Well it would not be the first time a murderer tried to throw us up that way. McGee: Off. Throw us off. | |
| (After seeing a picture of "Jethro", McGee's dog, licking McGee) Tony: McRomeo, you should save that stuff for the bedroom. | |
| Ziva: Nikki. Nikki: Ziva. Ziva: What do you have there? Nikki: It's nothing. Ziva: Five reasons why I should be picked to go to Iraq'. Ah, you've heard the rumors too. You do know that Iraq is a war zone? Nikki, it is dirty there. Sanitation is very poor. And diseases, have you ever heard of leishmaniasis? It begins with a loud oozing sore, often in the face. And then it just.... (Ziva makes a slurping noise) Oh! I have photos, I can show you. Nikki: No! Thank you for your concern but I still really want to go. (Nikki pulls down her sleeve so she doesn't have to touch the bathroom door handle, but can't get a grip on it...) Ziva: In that case, I hope you can handle competition a lot better than you can handle.....handles. (Ziva opens the door for Nikki) | |
| Tony: McGee, you're looking very guilty over there. You didn't do that thing that I told you not to do did you? McGee: Why would I do that? Did you do that? | |
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| Abby: (to Tony and Nikki in Iraq over teleconference): I didn't know you guys were sharing a room. Ziva: (aside to Abby) They are sharing a room? Tony: We're not exactly sharing a room. Ziva: Either they're sharing a room or they're not sharing a room. I don't see what is so exact or not exact about it. | |
| Episode 5.16 "Recoil" | |
| Tony: Where the hell are you McTardy? I'm still here alone with the dead body. | |
| McGee: She seems unfazed. Tony: Those are standard Mossad-style copy-machine assault tactics. | |
| Tony: You've got to look at this objectively. The evidence says he's guilty. Ziva: All circumcised. McGee: Uh, circumstantial. | |
| (Abby on roller blades has been trying to eliminate seconds from her best times for getting around her lab. She stops abruptly and bumps Gibbs) Gibbs: Abs? Abby: Yes Gibbs? Gibbs: Lose the wheels. | |
| McGee: Four boxes, four bags evidence, four bags of personal effects....I am going to be here forever. | |
| (Abby trying to get a bad CCTV picture to sharpen, to identify suspect...it is driving her bats) McGee: Did you try detecting edges? (Abby stares him down) McGee: I'm detecting an edge. Abby: If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times McGee: There is no substitute for quality source imagery, I know. | |
| Tony: (To Ziva) Hey, McGee thinks your raging against the machine because you had to kill your serial killer boyfriend. | |
| Ziva: Uno mas, Si'l vous plait. Michael: You're mixing your languages. Ziva: And my liquors. | |
| Tony: (To Ziva) "Guess what Locke's girlfriend's blood type is? The same blood type Abby found on the knife, B positive. Although it's hard to be positive when the news is so negative. | |
| Tony: Listen, I wasn't trying to make light of what you went through. Just trying to snap you out of your head space, you know? Ziva: I have perfectly good space in my head. Michael: You know, I've never handled a gun before. Ziva: Well you're not going to handle one now. Michael: Well, ah I guess I'll just have to handle something else. (Ziva giggles slightly) | |
| Gibbs: Is that what this is about? You doubting your judgment? Ziva: I should have moved earlier. Gibbs: You woulda if you coulda. Ziva: I left it too late. Gibbs: You still took him out. Ziva: I almost died. Gibbs: But you didn't. You gotta trust your judgment Ziva. Moment you don't. It won't be almost. Ziva (to Michael): You touched my gun. | |
| Episode 5.17 "About Face" | |
| McGee:Gonna be kind of tough play the "Q" without a "U." Ziva: You peeked! McGee: Did not - Process of elimination. I counted the tiles on the board. Tony: You suck the fun out of everything McCheat. McGee: Give it up, Ziva. (Ziva put the word QI on the board) McGee: "Qui?" I don't think so! Ziva: Chi," as in the life energy that flows through all things. Tony: You should've seen that one coming, Probie Wan-Kenobi. | |
| Leon: So you saw a man with a gun and you decided to chase after him? Palmer: No I chased after him and then I saw the gun. Leon: I can't tell if you're dumb or brave. Palmer: Not brave enough. Leon: The gun? Palmer: What about it? Leon: Automatic, revolver? Nickle plated, black, dull, shiny, big, small? Palmer: Big Leon: The barrel? Palmer: Yes, the barrel. Leon: So we're looking for a beady-eyed reptile with a big gun? Leon: Sounds like he's got a serious case of brain freeze. Gibbs: Well, freeze can thaw, Leon. Tony: (referring to an empty parking space previously occupied by a camper) Looks like we missed the twister. Abby (to Palmer): You are Baby Gibbs! (Palmer grins, pleased at the compliment) Palmer: Did we catch him? Did we learn anything about this guy? McGee: No ... but we certainly learned something about you... Palmer: Whatever it is ... it's not what you think! McGee: If the shoe fits... Palmer: Wait! Where are you going? McGee: These boots were made for walking. Gibbs: (reassuring a worried Ducky): Duck, you let me worry about the guy with the gun. Abby: One time I got my lip stuck in a vacuum cleaner display at the department store. I lost, like, a quart of saliva before my cousin pulled the plug. I still have nightmares about it. Can't be alone with a HEPA filter. Palmer: How old were you? Abby: 22. It was like Fat Tuesday or Arbor Day... Ducky: You have to decide what's in your bones Mr. Palmer. Ducky (to Palmer): I have no doubt you have it in you to die a hero's death, but for now perhaps you can help me examine the dead? Ducky (to corpse about Palmer): Sometimes I worry about that young man. | |
| Leon: (having seen Gibbs 'order' his team without saying a word). Short leash. Gibbs: Them or me? (referring to her facial recognition software) Abby: It didn't ding. My dinger didn't ding. My dinger must be broken again. Palmer: How do you do it? Gibbs: (silence) Palmer: Block out fear Gibbs: You don't, its what you do with it | |
| Palmer: (To Gibbs after he crashed his car into the killer's truck.) I didn't get out of the car! | |
| Gibbs (yelling at Palmer): NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! (he goes quiet, looks Palmer in the eye, and speaks very quietly) Now you have something to write home about. (with a quick grin) | |
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| Episode 5.18 "Judgment Day Parts 1 & 2" | |
| Abby (playing Ziva): Haircut, McGee McGee (as himself, puzzled by Abby's strange manner): Noooo. (cautiously) Ducky (playing Tony): I think it was a suggestion McGee, not a question. Ziva (to Tony): Is that why we are here? So you can google the girls? | |
| Ziva: (reading, lying on a chair wearing a bikini, Tony comes up behind her) You're googling, again. Tony: A book. How McGee-ish of you. Ziva: You're in my sun. Tony: You'll thank me later. Come on, let's go. Ziva: If you value that hand, I suggest you back away, slowly. Abby (talking to herself about Jenny's photographs): She's a great director; Annie Leibovitz she's not. Franks: Gibbs teach you that? Jenny: Gibbs didn't teach. You watch. You learn. Franks: You learn. I taught. Jenny: You need something Agent DiNozzo? Tony: Nothing, just checking in with our fearless leader. Jenny: What did I tell you Tony? Tony: Not to call you our fearless leader. | |
Tony: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH | |
| Jenny: Stop looking at my ass. Franks: There is nothing else to look at. | |
| Ducky (To the Director's body): You my dear, were a woman who always knew what she wanted. A trait as some may have seen as mere carreerism, rather than the true sense of duty I know carried you. That’s why I cant help but wondering if your death too, was on your terms. | |
| Ziva: You have not listened to anything I have said. Tony: Well it's only been three years. I'm a slow learner. Ziva: And a slow healer. You're crying over spilled... milk. Tony: It's not milk that I spilled. Ziva: Do not do this Tony. Tony: Don't do what? Blow my protection detail? My undercover assignment? Ziva: Those sound like apologies. Tony: She died alone. Ziva: We are all alone. Tony: Paris. That's when it must have happened. Ziva: The two of them alone in another world. Tony: Putting their lives in each other's hands every day. Ziva: Not to mention the long nights. Tony: It was inevitable. Ziva: Nothing is inevitable. | |
| Vance: Did you know Mike Franks was involved in this? (at the same time) Ziva: Yes. Tony: No. Vance: You want to take a moment and get your stories straight? (at the same time) Ziva: No. Tony: Yes. Vance: That explains how Director Shepard got out to the dinner. Franks was the fifth shooter. Tony: On Jenny's side. Vance: Who's side are you on? (at the same time) Ziva: Gibbs. Tony: Gibbs. Vance: Well you finally got your story straight. | |
| Vance: Officer David, the liaison position with NCIS is being terminated. You’re going home. McGee, I’m moving you across to the Cyber Crimes Unit. You’ll be working with Officer Holsworth, starting tomorrow. DiNozzo. Tony: Sir. Vance: You’ve been reassigned. Agent afloat, USS Ronald Reagan. Pack your bags, you fly out tomorrow. Agent Gibbs. (hands Gibbs three folders) Meet your new team. |
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