Gibbs once remarked that he felt like a school principal, when Kate and Tony were bickering.
But what if NCIS were set in a high school instead of a macho government agency. What sort of things would Gibbs be saying to his "students" (the Giblets) and "colleagues" (directors, Ducky and Fornell)?

Gibbs: "McGee. Excellent homework. 40 pages is excessive when you were only asked to write 2 pages. Would you like to think about the meaning of the word "overkill"?"

Gibbs: "DiNozzo! Get that mobile phone camera away from Abby's skirt. I do not care what sort of tatt you think she's got. You do not look up girl's skirts."

Gibbs: "Miss David, we admire your interest in the anatomy class. However, it takes Dr. Mallard a long time to breed our lab rats and it was unkind of you to see how many of them you could behead with one swipe of your scalpel. Apologise to him and you are on labrat cage cleaning duty for the next 3 weeks".

Gibbs: TONY! Stop annoying Kate. Kate you sit down and don't listen to Tony. Why do I feel like a high school principal?

Gibbs: "Mr. DiNozzo, you do nothing but slack off in class, but somehow you are able to pass with flying colors. Can you explain this to me?"

Gibbs: "Miss David, we do not accept threats in this school."
David: "What threats Sir?"
Gibbs: "Let's just say Mr. DiNozzo now has a phobia of paperclips."

DiNozzo: "Director Gibbs do I have to sit at the front of the class? (Headcuff) Ow! well, maybe I do sir, sorry sir!"

Gibbs: Abigail, I understand your detention with Mr. Fornell did not go well. You will write out 1000 times "I will not confuse teachers during detention."

Gibbs: *headslaps Tony* Tony: It was an accident, I swear sir!
Gibbs: You were certaintly enjoying that 'accident' of your hand going down Miss David's blouse, Mr. DiNozzo!

Gibbs: "McGee we all know you have a high IQ, but that does not give you permission to show Miss Shepard up in computer science."

Gibbs: "Caitlin. Not every principal likes a tattletale!"

Gibbs: "Tony, it's come to my attention you've been flirting with Miss Shepard again!"

Gibbs: "All of you are young adults. As such I expect cooperation. That said, remember this. If you can't cooperate, we don't want you. The trouble makers know who you are. (stares at two students) Don't you Mr. DiNozzo, Miss Sciuto?

Gibbs: Dr. Mallard has kindly given his time to tutor you in anatomy, Anthony, it would be appreciated if you didn't use that time to chuck spitballs at the ceiling!

Gibbs: I have instructed Coach Vance to suspend any player without at least a "C" average. This applies to everyone from the best player to the water boy. No study, No play. Do I make myself clear?

Gibbs: Jennifer Shepard. Six inch stilettos are not considered acceptable footwear for school and I don't care that they enable you to flounce properly.

Gibbs: DiNozzo, Todd, do not call McGee FUBAR again. *head slap*
Kate: I'm sor-
Gibbs: Don't you dare apologise! It's a sign of weakness.
Gibbs: Tony, Abby will you two stop fooling around in class!

Gibbs: (tapping on microphone) May I have your attention. I want to congratulate two students for outstanding achievement on the end of term tests. Timothy McGee and James Palmer both turned in the highest score possible. The grades are posted outside my office so everyone can see how they did.

Gibbs: And let me remind you again...No beating people up behind the bikesheds Miss David!

Gibbs: You may very well be studying human biology next semester, Miss David, but that doesn't excuse you jumping on Mr DiNozzo and licking his ear!

Gibbs: Miss David, it is no longer acceptable to use the whiteboard as a dartboard when teaching Dinozzo how to throw knives!

Gibbs: Abigail, it has come to my attention that you cannot stay awake in class
Abby: Well sir, how can I? We don't have Caf-Pal machines!

Noisy classroom, Gibbs walks in and stares at the class, suddenly silent.

Gibbs: "Hey Ducky, so far this week I've broken up 3 fights, administered first aid twice, found one missing student hiding in the bushes, suspended 2 for stealing and supervised DiNozzo on detention every day - I'm beginning to feel like a federal agent!

Gibbs: "Miss David what have I told you about bullying the juniors with paperclips!"

Gibbs to Vance "I don't care how much you spent on the computer screen system I want my blackboard and chalk back....NOW!"

Gibbs : "Mr Fornell, my office now ! "
Fornell : "You now have a real office ?"

Gibbs: "McGee! Did you Google this homework? DiNozzo - just because you're behind me doesn't mean I can't see you laughing at McGee!"

Gibbs: Miss David, what have I told you about making out with Mr DiNozzo at recess?

Gibbs: "Abigail.. take the dog collar off McGee, this is not "Bring your pet to school" day

DiNozzo: "See, I was passing the girls locker room when I heard this loud scream"
Gibbs: "The screaming started after entering the locker room"

Gibbs: Kate, stop braiding Abby's hair. Tony feet off the desk and concentrate! Why of all days couldn't I find a temporary teacher?!

Gibbs: McGee!!! You're supposed to be doing research on the internet! Not posting on this website called" ... *puts glasses on and reads the title of the site* "NCIS fan wiki."

Gibbs: DiNozzo! What have I told you about eating Zivas' lunch? DiNozzo to Gibbs: "It's not Ziva's, it's yours!"

Gibbs: Okay, which one of you ate half my apple and then left it turned upside down on my desk? McGee!? McGee to Gibbs: "No, it wasn't me! I only ate Abby's cupcake!"

Gibbs strides into the classroom. He stares glaring around the giggling group. "All right ! Who farted?" Abby to Gibbs: Bert did it!" *Chuckles all round*

Gibbs:" I've found a little lamb, it has followed me to school. Who will take care of it?" Dinozzo raised his hand and said, " I have a new lamb pizza plan, and think it would be cool, for Ducky to just carve it up, into smaller bits and pieces, then place them into body bags, with instructions to then freeze it!" *2 head slaps from Gibbs*

Gibbs: "DiNozzo, spell N.C.I.S.!" DiNozzo:" Umm, umm. N...Nnsomething...I know.... C.S.I. !" * 2 head slaps*

Tony: "you will never guess who I saw making out behind the bikeshed"! Kate, Ziva, McGee & Abby:"who"!? Tony: Director Gibbs and Miss Sheppard" Everyone starts giggling "and they were really going at it" Everyone goes silent Gibbs: "is that so DiNozzo" Headslap

Gibbs: "Afternoon class."
Class: "Good afternoon sir!"
Gibbs: "Who left this love letter on my desk? ... Abby!"
Abby: "No, no it wasn't me Gibbs!"
Mrs. Mallard: "Oh Jethro, don't you know my handwriting by now?"

Gibbs was taking a PE class. "Dinozzo, why did you kick the ball straight at the school computer!" Dinozzo: "Well, boss, you told me to put it in the net."

Gibbs: Miss Sciuto, what have I told you about locking you classmates in closely enclosed spaces?
Abby: But, sir, they are so perfect for each other... they just needed a push!
Gibbs: I don't care. Just tell me where you locked DiNozzo and David in together!

Tony: "You will never guess what I saw at McGee's party after you guys left, you know that playhouse". Gibbs and Jenny are nearby, suddenly Gibbs runs to his office, "so I looked in the window and there it was, the grossest sight I have ever...", Gibbs: "DiNozzo report to the principal's office immediately".

Gibbs to class: "Where is McGee today?"
Abby: "Well, we had to change classes yesterday. I usually go to cooking and McGee went to chemistry...and McGee was used to licking my spoon."

Gibbs:Miss David I'm sure you're aware that what you were about to do is highly illegal?
Ziva:But Sir..he has bikini pictures of me on his phone
Gibbs:I don't really care, if you don't let go of DiNozzo right now I'm going to have to do something I'll most probably be fired for.

Gibbs: Dinozzo! David! Sex ed is not a time for practicals!